But these two - anger and fear - seem predominant, nevertheless. I see each of them as a kind of shield. Those who tend to lash out, blame, bully, and justify their inappropriate actions will use the Anger Shield to deflect any criticisms or accusations.
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If one is shy, or insecure, a Shield of Fear goes up but is weak, as it keeps the person questioning themself, and apologizing for some perceived wrong.
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But really these shields are only covering all the underlying feelings that a person may have difficulty expressing or even identifying.
The angry shielder may feel sad, or be afraid of loss, maybe his/her own self-image is shaky, but would be too embarrassed to admit any doubts about themself. Maybe the fearful shielder is in pain, grief, feeling uncertainty about where they belong in life.
There could be any number of feelings or issues underneath someone’s shield. Next time you encounter someone with either an angry or fearful shield, try to find out what’s really going on. Acknowledge their anger or fear for starters. Get them talking. Maybe, just maybe they’ll get a chance to lower the shield a bit, just enough to do some explaining as to what they’re really feeling.
Somewhere in the middle of it all there is balance. No fight needed. No flight necessary. Just stay awhile. Be a friend. Theresa M
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